2002-06 – Letters from Donatello

Salutations cyberfriend!

Please note: we’re on vacation until June 17, so we won’t be able to reply until sometime after then! Thanks for your patience!

Spring has sprung, so it’s definitely time to update you on life in the sewers. Fortunately things were very quiet for quite a few months, which allowed us to get everything at the lair back into tip top shape and, dare I say, better than ever. Shadow (Casey’s adopted daughter – every time we mention her, we get a ton of mail asking who she is, so I guess I need to clarify her relationship to us on ocassion :) has been visiting often and she likes to make things neat, so the ol’ HQ is cleaner than ever as well (much to Raph and Mike’s dismay :)

Casey and April have set their wedding date for this summer, but haven’t chosen a definitive day as of yet. They’re thinking about being married at a justice of the peace to make it legal, and then having a “real” wedding here in the sewer with Master Splinter as the “master of ceremonies,” so all of us can attend. The difficulties involving us in the wedding have been a bit of a stumbling block… it’s not easy being green. :)

After the terrorist attacks last year, security in the City was increased dramatically, so the Foot Clan have been in hiding for the better part of 6 months. They’re still not as active as they were, but they are beginning to stretch their boundaries once again. Raphael will have details regarding that, as usual.

Michelangelo and I ran into an interesting dilemma a few weeks back.

Oh, I should state that Mike is officialing changing his name to be spelled like it’s supposed to be – so it will be “Michealangelo” from now on. Hopefully we’ll all remember to spell it correctly – but I suspect that old habits will die hard. :)

As I was saying, the two fo us were exploring the lower depths of the sewer (you wouldn’t believe the labryinth of tunnels down here, nor how deep some of them go), we came upon a cache of Baxter Stockman’s old Mousers! From the looks of things, this was a horde that Baxter hadn’t managed to activate before his plans were foiled. We discovered what could basically be described as an underground warehouse, filled to the brim with the robotic nightmares! Eventually we counted over 6 dozen of them. Mike and I were very careful not to activate the machines (the Mousers are quite advanced robots, with extremely sensitive sensors), and we searched the area. As Michel looked for any signs of a control panel or hidden access to the room, I went to work on one of the Mousers. As I said, they’re quite sophisticated, so it’s no easy task to rewire them. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately) the years of exposure to the deep sewer humidity had wrecked the ‘bots. As soon as I had decided that getting the Mousers to operate would be impossible, Mike announced that he’d found a secret door. We could tell that one of the walls was hollow by banging on it, but we couldn’t manage to open it.

Michelangelo went back to my lab to fetch a laser to cut the door open while I set about making sure all of the Mousers were completely disfunctional and inoperative (it’s always best to be cautious – especially around menacing machinery such as this). I’m afraid that time passes by in a flash while I’m working, so it wasn’t until 3 hours later, when I’d completely finished my task, that I noticed that Michel hadn’t returned! It should have only taken him 30-45 minutes to fetch the laser (allowing for 15 minutes of time for him to ask Splinter to get it for him – Mike isn’t very good at finding things much of the time). Standing in a roomful of silent Mousers with a suspicious case of missing brother wasn’t a comforting feeling! I packed my tools and grabbed my bo staff and prepared to go searching for Michelangelo.

Just as I’d gathered my things, the secret door began to open, with a teeth shattering screech! Behind it stood a giant Mouser, standing seven feet tall – and its eyes were glowing with life! I’m not embarrassed to admit, I was scared! As I took a defensive staff and wished I hadn’t allowed myself to be isolated, I heard Mike and Raph start laughing!

The two walked out from behind the monster Mouser, stumbling due to their overzealous guffaws (at my expense, of course). As it turns out, Raphael discovered this room some months ago and often comes here to contemplate things (that’s Raph for you). It seems that once Mike had gotten back to our lair to retrieve the laser, he ran into Raphael and described things to him. Raph, ever the loner, was disappointed that we’d discovered one of “his spots,” so he hatched a plan to play a practical joke on me. The pair of pranksters grabbed a set of low intensity emergency spot lights and Raph lead Mike to the other access tunnel to the secret room. Once there, they duct-taped the lights to the head of the creature and waited for me to get finished with the Mousers. Raph complained about how long it took, but he did say the look on my face when the secret door opened was worth it. Ha ha ha… not!

I like jokes, but practical jokes I can do without, especially ones that make your heart leap into your throat.

Since then I’ve been dismantling the normal sized Mousers and utilizing what material that I can slavage for other experiments. The big Mouser remains in its not-so-secret secret hiding spot for now – it’s too big to get up to our labs. I’ll think of something – perhaps a shrinking ray. Master Splinter isn’t very happy to have the Mosuers around, but I dismantle them as quickly as possible and then go back to get some more.

I guess Raph doesn’t go to that room anymore because it no longer has the creepy ambience he so enjoyed. Yep, that’s Raph for you.

That’s about it. I hope you’re doing great!


Master Splinter

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