2001-10 – Letters from Raphael


We’re home. Cowafreakinbunga.

K, I did my bit, see ya…

Yeah, yeah, right… gotta put more effort in than that. You don’t realize how much I hate writing letters, do you? This is a Herculean effort on my part, typing these things up. You’re welcome.

I don’t feel like doing this, and now that I’ve read Mike’s draft, I’m even more angry. I wasn’t gonna type anything up AT ALL this time (I’m in ONE OF THOSE moods, okay?), so the guys told me all I’d have to do is wrap everything up, tell ya we got home safe, hung with the Master, Ape and Case and everything’s hunky dorey. Yeehah.

Well, that’s the truth of the matter, we are home and everything’s fine again, but it was a lousy summer, so I didn’t wanna talk about it, and then Mike goes and leaves half of his story untold. Grrrrrrrrrr…

For those enlightened individuals out there who read my page first, this time ya gotta go read the other guy’s letters before mine, or none of this will make sense. I’ll wait here for ya to get back.

So Mike left it at us finally getting alla the chains cut loose. By this time, you can imagine that Shredder and Krang were freaking… and they were. We were supposed to be dino lunch and we’d turned it all around on them in a score of minutes. So anyway, while Saki and the brain were scrambling around ordering the Triceratons to shoot us, the crowd was going berserk. They were throwing garbage in the pit earlier, but once we were free they started throwing everything that wasn’t tied down (and alotta stuff that was). Chairs, peanut carts, small dogs, etc. (actually, no canines were thrown ;)

I dunno if they were excited that we were winning or upset that we didn’t get eaten, but the entire place was turning into a 200,000 being mob… pretty cool, eh? ;)

So right about the time that the Triceraton guards were getting real nervous about the crowd, Master Splinter struck. Several smoke grenades erupted throughout the crowded stadium and more were lobbed onto the arena floor. This sent the spectators into a true uproar and everything went haywire. It was pretty exciting. Unbelievable chaos… aw yeah.

Of course, this was our escape opportunity and we wasted no time taking it. As the smoke spread out and the riot escalated, we beat feet. Master Splinter found us in the smoke, amidst the hurling trash and bodies, and lead us to where a Transmat device was waiting to send us home. That dragon creature sounded like it had found something to munch on as we departed, hopefully it was Krang and Shredder.

Along with the Sensei was April, all decked out in full-body, black Ninja gear, hood and all. She looked almost like a member of the Foot Clan (actually, she looked exactly like a member of the Foot Clan, since she had taken the outfit from one of them back in New York. I still get a chuckle outta that one). Still, if I had eyebrows, I woulda raised them… but the Master said she had earned her stripes. Judging by the number of fallen Triceratons we found on our way to the Transmat chamber, I don’t think I’d argue with the old rat.

So Donny worked the controls and we ported back to Earth, where we quickly disabled the Transmat. Don pulled the power cells and Leo removed the main circuitry board. I don’t think any of us will be playing around with that thing again… in fact, we’re talking about demolishing it, to prevent Rat King from doing the same trick all over again. Speaking of which, I’m gonna have to look that guy up to discuss what he did to our summer…

In the end, it’s all good. It’s actually cool that I typed this up, cuz it got alotta the stuff I’ve been dwelling on outta my system. Being a gladiator for over a month truly reeked, but I also had some fun here and there. I definitely got my battle chops back in high gear, so I look forward to tangoing with the Foot over the next few weeks.

We’ve spent the past few days tending wounds. Donny’s hand is pretty bad, but nothing that won’t heal. He’s had worse. Mikey is eating like there’s no tomorrow, I guess we all are. While we were gone, Casey started going to Chef School! He and April are talking about opening a high brow restaurant now! Sheesh! Anyways, the mighty Casey stepped up to the plate and has been cooking some wicked good food for us… it’s so good I’m not even teasing him about being a cook. Yeah… hard to fathom food so tasty, huh?

Casey and April are officially an “item” now. Which is no big surprise, it’s been a long time coming. Who else would wanna date either one of those loons? They’re perfect for each other (but you knew that all along, didn’t ya? ;)

Casey was a bit upset and hurt that Splinter and April left without him, but the big guy had to stay home and take care of Shadow (and business… somebody’s gotta pay the bills). It’s kinda nice to see Casey getting all domestic… but at the same time, it’s sad. We’re all gettin’ older, I guess… sometimes I miss those crazy ol’ days when things were simpler (not that they were, but they seem that way now ;)

So… we’re home. And ya know what?


Awwwwwwww yeahhhhh…

Take care.


Master Splinter

Leave a Reply