1998-05 – Letters from Michaelangelo

Hey there hi there ho there!

Whoa! It’s been a majorly whacky Spring so far! But then… that’s nothing new for us, is it? I like think there must be some little dude walkin’ around scheduling all this weird stuff that happens to us… it couldn’t ALL be happening by chance! Well… who knows, eh? It’s kinda weird thinkin’ about all the different coincidences that had to occur for us to be mutated in the first place! I guess we were destined to have a whacky life from the day we left the pet store! And ya know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’d much rather be battling the bad boize than munchin’ worms in an aquarium, lemme tell ya! Heh heh! Um… no offense to those of ya who LIKE to munch worms! =P

So yo! Mondo Gecko was here the other day!!! I haven’t seen my dashin’ thrashin’ crashin’ bud for like decades! Turns out that he’s been playin’ in a band down in Brazil!!! He sez that everyone thinks that he’s some guy in a costume, and that they’ve been selling lots of tickets to their shows! They’re callin’ themselves El Diablizard… which doesn’t translate into anything, but they think it sounds cool. Hmmmm…. =>

So me and Mondo decided that since he was in town, it was time to carve some pave and hit the pipes! Mondo claimed he was outta practice, but he was slicin’ the dicin’ like I’ve never seen! I really AM outta practice with my skate, as I’ve been doin’ more sno rollin’ lately… I made like a meatball too much tryin’ to follow the megamutant thrasher!

Mondo knows alotta Spanish now, I’m hopin’ to see him more often and mebbe learn some from him. I really dig Spanish! It sounds so cool! Mebbe I can get south o’ the border some time and meet the rest of the guitarin’ Gecko’s crew and learn some choice phrases. That’d be mondo for sure!

So anyways, as Mondo and me (sounds like a movie!) were cuttin’ the scrug, o’ course we hafta run smack dab into trouble, right? Right! It’s like the law!

As soon as we bolted outta the sewers into the light of night, Mondo careens right into a band of those lamer Dragon Lord Juinors, the Rank (and they ARE rank!) Leon thinks mebbe they were tryin’ to find our sewer hidey home… so I s’pose it was good we found ’em first! These guys are pretty tough, and we were outnumbered 5 on 2. We didn’t have any chance to make a hasty retreat (not that Mondo would do that anyways… he’s as loco as Raphael most of the time!) I flipped out the Turty communicator to call for back-up, but Leonardude, Venuts and Donny-San were busy somewheres else and Raph was off with Casey… but Master Splinter was home, and he said he’d meet us and that we should keep the evil lizard dweebs occupied ’til he arrived. No problemo!

The Rank are strong, but they aren’t real fast… well… not as fast as me and Mondo anyways! We thrashed ’em and bashed ’em a bit, always stayin’ just outta reach! It was actually kinda fun! Mondo almost got caught once, but he managed to do this amazimundo ollie offa a wall about 6 feet in the air. He cracked back and then popped a rail upside one of the Rank’s foreheads, putting him out like a birthday candle in front of El Nino! The Diablizard had made his impression… on the noggin’ of the Rank! Just about then the Super Sensei shows up with some weird little teapot on a string kinda thing, except it had incense burnin’ in it. The Master started swingin’ the little teapot thingy around his head, and the incense smoke started creating a big cloud over his head… the 4 remaining Rank turned to face Splinter… so I decided it was a good time to launch an offensive of my own! I picked up speed and headed for a pair of the lizard dudes… just before I reached ’em I gave a good hoot and they turned to face me… just in time for me to grab their skulls and do a Moe on ’em! I clicked their chins together as hard as I could and went blastin’ on by. I didn’t knock either of ’em out, but it sure put a serious damper on their vision and coordination!

About that time, the whacky smoke cloud of Splinter’s was starting to take a shape… like a big dragon, wings and all! It was totally freaky! The 2 healthy Rank were wicked shocked by this… and looked around dazed and confused. The Smoke Dragon then let out a horrifying roar that surprised Mondo and me so much we both pulled a Waldo and went flyin’ off our decks! Well, the screamin’ smoke dragon then took a bite at one of the Rank! This freaked the freakies out totally! They picked up their knocked out bro and headed for the hills! The two I had given the skull-pull to were still dizzy, and as they went to run, they smacked right into each other! It was a hoot! The Smoke Dragon took a bite at them too, and then they regained their senses well enough to beat feet outta there! It was great!

Mondo and I got our boards and asked the Sensei how the heck he did that! The Smoke Dragon was still kinda weavin’ around in the air, but it was quickly fading away.

The Master just looked at us with a wink and a nod and said “I believe that I did that very well.” He laughed and headed back into the sewer! I love that guy! I dunno how he did it, but it was an awesome sight to see!

So for the next few days Mondo and me hung until he had to head home for some gigs. It was so cool to see him again! If you’re ever in Brazil, keep your eyes peeled for El Diablizard… tell ’em the Smoke Dragon sent ya! =)

That’s the news, and I’m outta here! Take care of yourself, amigo!


Master Splinter

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